A week ago, I bought a new phone at Gitex, after years of putting up with my Crapberry, I decided it was time to step into the 21st century with a smartphone that was actually smart. I went in and bought the Samsung S4 and was extremely pleased with myself.
Friends and family would later tell me, "But you didn't
get a good deal, you just got the phone. Why didn't you get any accessories or
extras?"
I just wanted the phone, why is that suddenly socially
unacceptable? I even forked out extra for longer warranty because I get attached
to my things, case in point, my phone is now named "Purp" (It's purple. I know,
I suck at naming things. Don't let me name your child.)
Two decades ago, people probably would've been satisfied
with that, and living with the same phone model to last a life time.
Not
anymore.
Which
is probably everyone's approach to dating here.

Dubai, being the transient city that it is, is a very
hard place to date. In a culture where we're bombarded with flashy, and the
latest and greatest, it's pretty hard to be happy with what we have, and we're
always looking for the very best. Did Dubai settle having the Trade Center being
the tallest building? Nope, it went for the Burj Khalifa.
Which probably explains the popularity of social app,
Tinder, in Dubai. I heard about it about from Dubai blogger Clare and the City's
post.

Basically
you sign in through Facebook, choose 5 of your best pictures to have on your
Tinder profile, and then your GPS is set to target people in your area. After
you fiddle with the age target settings, you have a veritable pool of fish to
hook up.
And
you sort of eliminate guys like this:

Unless you're into that, then there's always Facebook
inbox messages like this:

But
I digress. The app is simple enough to use.
![]() |
| Swipe left for "NOPE", right for "Meh, why not." Easy as pie. |
And then you're faced with the duck faces, mirror poses,
deep V necks, sunglasses in car pictures, flexing at the gym, and triangle
arms.
![]() |
| What everyones profile picture screams. |
So ultimately you're right back where you started after
one hour of swiping you've eliminated all potential matches in a 15 mile radius
and you realise you're probably going to be single forever.
![]() |
| NOPE |
Well, not completely true, I did make one match, thought
it was going pretty great, but then got stood up, and proceeded to write this
blog post. So that's the worst that could
happen.
![]() |
| I'm kind of over it now. |
At least I didn't get chopped up
into little pieces, put into black garbage bags, taken out on his yacht (he had
a yacht - that should've tipped me off, guys who have yachts are douches) and
dumped into the ocean.
So there's a bright side!
To be honest, yeah it pretty much sucked, but I guess
you're supposed to go through stuff like this and the point is putting yourself
out there blah blah blah.
Or I could just get a cat or five. Who needs a man when
you have 5 cats?!

Grab a pint of ice-cream and feel free to share your
Dubai dating disaster woes in the comments below or
on Twitter or Facebook.

























